Tomorrow June 24th is the BIG DAY!

 Isaiah 30:15 says, 

“In returning and rest you shall be saved; in QUIETNESS and in TRUST shall be your strength.” 

This gal will be clinging to that verse over the next several days. Tomorrow, June 24th is the big day that I alluded to back before I had my thyroid removed.  It’s been a day about three years in the making. It’s the day of my long awaited vocal cord surgery

First, I apologize I never did give a full update on my thyroid. I’m terrible with health updates that shine the light on myself. Praise God, my thyroid and lymph nodes were completely clear of cancer. My vocal cord nerves worked great from a nerve transmitting standpoint, but my left vocal cord continues to show some signs of paralysis. 

To look back over three years at what was the beginnings of caregiver starting to care for herself, I was realizing that stress had taken its toll on my body, my mind and my vocal cords.

Always the one to be the plus one to a hospital bedside or a doctor’s appointment, I hated to be the one in the patient seat. 

Flash back to 2019, the inability to use my voice was getting worse. After coming home from leading Ladie's Bible studies or trying to talk to the precious people that would sit across from me during Re:Vivals community dinners, my throat felt like it was on fire and I could barely speak. Having a conversation with a friend in the grocery store or across the street, would completely tire it out and I knew I needed to see a specialist. 

Dr. Aaron Jaworek has been a God send.  It’s hard to find both a brilliant doctor and one that has an incredible bedside manner that isn’t pushed around by the clock. He knows surgery was always my last option and he has worked hand in hand with me to get my cords to the best place they can be. Priority number one was controlling the silent reflux that I initially was in denial that I had.  

I changed my diet completely to alkaline foods, went on medication and though they helped, these changes didn’t completely heal. I will never forget the visit when he said to me:

“Karen, this is something you can no longer control.”

Did he just say that I thought?  

How does he know that’s my bent? If I just work hard enough, eat the right food, do my vocal hygiene care, take the right "Amazon All Natural Cure Your Reflux Supplement": surely I CAN FIX THIS!

Truth is he knew the EXACT words to say to this Karen….

It’s no longer in your control. 

He isn’t a religious man and yet his words seared through my heart. The still small voice of God reminded me that day in the doctor's office that this journey was one God was the author of and I needed to release my fists again, surrender again and follow the path God was laying out.  

Last year was an implant called the LINX to augment my stomach sphincter and fix my hiatal hernia. It’s done wonders for my ‘silent reflux’ symptoms and definitely helped improve the quality of my voice. My voice no longer tires out, my cords when he scopes me, look nice and pink instead of angry red, but the projection side of my voice just isn’t there. The hypothesis is that this is due to the left cord paralysis.

This could have been caused by a virus. I could have damaged it from my verboseness and loudness, I scream like no one’s business on roller coasters and have a hard time not singing at the top of my lungs when my favorite music artist is in town. There were plenty of years of Day Camps where the need was great to shout out over hundreds of excited kids. Perhaps all of this and  the years and effects of silent reflux took its toll.  

What I do know ……

Tomorrow is finally here and tomorrow we should know more. 

Dr. Jaworek will first go in and take a nice look microscopically to see if there is anything perhaps physiologic causing the issue. He has hypothesized that there may be a laryngeal cyst that is behind the cords causing some tension. If he finds anything like that he will laser it. If there is nothing physical to see, then he will be injecting my left cord with a filler to help ‘plump it up’ and give my cords God willing the potential to fully close. 

I joke with those who know me, 

“Ironic that this is the ONE part of my body that needs ‘plumping.’”

My sister told me last week that they call this procedure the “bee sting” and use it for kids that aspirate quite a bit.

The encouraging news with my thyroid surgery was that right after the surgery I was talking a mile a minute and sounded pretty good. This was mainly due in part to my cords having some natural inflammation after being intubated for the thyroidectomy.  As expected, once the swelling went down, my voice worsened again. Dr. Jaworek is hopeful that this is a good sign the injection will work well for my situation. 

The hardest part of this next adventure for me will be in the recovery.

Though I am not sure exactly what recovery will look like or for how long, one thing is certain:

I will need to be on: 

COMPLETE

VOCAL

REST! 

As I understand it, it could be a few days to a couple of weeks depending on what he needs to do.  Once I do start to speak it will need to be small and portioned out.  5 minutes an hour to start! 

This, my friends is probably causing you disbelief. If your head is breaking out in perspiration because you know how much I talk, you’d better believe this is the most anxiety producing part of the entire surgery for me. 

Hence the verse that I started this writing endeavor with….

“In quietness and in TRUST shall be your strength!” 

I have cherished your prayers in the past and I will hold onto them again as I head into this next surgery tomorrow. Before they put me under, I will remind Dr. Jaworek and his wonderful team that they have an army of people praying for them, and specifically for God to give Dr. Jaworek steady hands and eyes to see what he needs to. 

As I’ve said before, the Lord is the one who gives me my voice and He may choose to allow my voice to be my weakness in order that I remember to ever rely on Him and weigh the words that come out of my mouth. 

Whether I ever get the opportunity to talk again before a room , an auditorium or perhaps it’s just one on one, I am already so very thankful. 

My heartbeat is to be able to talk about the goodness of God among the land of the living. Whether it be rejoicing or suffering, we can always find His fingerprints, and it’s because of Him we can always have hope no matter how dark the dawn may look.

Love you my friends. 

Thank you for your prayers and your well wishes. 

If anyone feels the need to drop off a role of duct tape, I may be in great need of some by tomorrow evening. 

Always remember, God is faithful. 

You can TRUST Him.

Psalm 57:2

“I cry out to God MOST HIGH, 

To God who fulfills his purpose for me;”