Well there is good news and then some, well , unknowns.
I first need to say THANK YOU FOR PRAYING! I was literally calm as a cucumber all the way up to going under.
A Blessing.
One of the funnier moments was when my doctor had me sign his waiver and said something along the lines of :
“I have to tell you about the risk of air fire.”
I was like what on earth. Air Fire? ( since he was using a laser.)
My reaction was actually to chuckle because I envisioned what a site that certainly would have been (and of course all the actual ramifications of the horrors that would ensue were not on my mind. ) I only pictured;
Karen: The FIRE BREATHER. 🔥
My brain quickly had myself cast as a major character starring in a Marvel Movie. Maybe Reese Witherspoon could play me.
Thankfully …. that did not happen.
(The in surgical air fire. There might still be hope for Marvel)
The hospital staff at Anderson were all excellent and treated me with great care. I was rolled into the operating room a little after 8, Dr. Jaworek’s first patient was cancelled.
Another blessing.
Dr. J was able to spend a little extra time with me talking to me and updating me on how all his girls are growing. It gave me time to tell him about all the people praying for him, and thanking him for his skills and excellence, the time he has dedicated to his craft. .
Things went smoothly and I was in recovery, opening my eyes about 10:30. I woke up with some coughing and then more pain than I’ve experienced in the last couple of surgeries, but they were quick to get on top of it and keep me loaded up with zofran to combat the nausea. I had an excellent nurse named Zina that advocated for me and put up with my talk to text. I didn’t have a moment of nausea.
Another blessing.
The RESULTS…..
Mark talked in person with Dr. Jaworek who whipped out his surgical pictures of which Mark said there were plenty.
Dr. Jaworek called me an “anomaly.”
I’m beginning to think that is my super power.
Double A: An Anomaly.
(I wrote him a note to say I may get that tattooed this weekend).
Basically my right cord looks amazing. Nice, healthy and pink. My left side though looks a little more reddish and the bottom of the vocal fold had some tissue that was rather perplexing to him. He told Mark he was rather confident it was NOT cancer but he wanted to collect biopsies around the area to know what he’s dealing with. It could be just ‘not run of the mill cyst tissue’ or perhaps I am not just the Canadian….but a ‘true resident alien.’ with tissue to prove it.
Again, the head scratch is that it’s just on left. If it was residual reflux or something else environmental, common sense says it would be affecting both sides.
Dr. J DID NOT do the augmentation injection because he wants to know what he’s dealing with and he’s not convinced it would have helped.
He DID LASER some spots which he said he’s hoping may cause some improvement.
The second I got the lo-down bedside talk from Mark, hearing that things didn’t exactly go as planned, hearing there was no injection, hearing the road may be more drawn out, tears of frustration streamed.
Tears that also represented : Karen’s EXPECTATIONS
(Oh I feel there could be an entire post about that word, but what I love the most is to know a God that is never disappointed in the tears that fall from my eyes. He lived here. He gets me.)
Well intertwined with the tears, were the words I typed out to my Instagram stories on the way to surgery.
“The fog this morning reminds me what faith is like. We can’t always see the entire road, but we know the architect who designed it and we can trust where He’s guiding, Step by Step. Day by Day. God is faithful.”
These words were accompanied by my morning get up song sung by Toby Mac called “Goodness”.
“ You made the rain, so when it falls on me
Should I complain?
Or feel you callin’ me?
It’s all on me to stay
And really catch what You’re showin’
It’s my roots that You’re growin’
‘Cause life is more than this moment.”
Having time to ponder, to pray, to listen to Mark. I am so thankful for Dr. Jaworek’s actions and his conservative approach. Of course the microwave solution, the instant gratification, the fast food if you will, feels better at first, but most often, in the long wrong it does not have the best results.
I always remember my sister telling me to throw caution to doctors that are cowboys. Doctors that want to go big or go home in all the wrong ways. Doctors that want to make their mark and take unnecessary risks regardless of what might be best for their patients. Doctors that are owned by the latest and greatest meds, or medical implants companies. She told me to look for doctors who you see their brains processing and always thinking, these are the ones you want on your team. She is one of those doctors. Dr. Jaworek is as well.
Another blessing.
I have a follow up next Thursday and he’s hoping biopsy results will be in by then. Maybe he will get to write me up in a scientific journal as patient “Canadian Karen: An Anomaly.”
Total vocal rest is expected until Monday.
Monday I can start in 5 minute spurts.
I’ve already failed twice. A total of 4 words have fallen out.
My brain synapses can’t move fast enough with my lips. I’ve resulted to a mask over my mouth at times as a physical reminder since the button that Dr. Jaworek hooked me up with isn’t working.
The button says “ I’m resting my voice.”
I am looking forward to using this button for years to come.
Prayers appreciated for Dr. Jaworek as he thinks on and contemplates my case. The Bible says that God can direct the heart of the King and I fully trust this to mean He can give inspiration and direction to doctors in charge of my medical care.
Prayers the biopsy results come in before my appointment so we can discuss. He’s a busy man and office appts are hard to come by.
Prayers my brain reacts before me lips open over the next few days to be quiet. Spell check with text is driving me nuts so I have Adah’s electronic white board. I also am not supposed to cough at all or clear my throat. I have cough drops and cough suppressant if needed. Praying I won’t need it.
Prayers for pain management and nausea control.
(Currently being managed with Tylenol and Advil with no zofran needed)
Another blessing.
I’m sticking to soft foods, smoothies and Bekah grabbed me some alkaline fresh cold pressed juice from Raw Replenish to flood my body with all of God’s natural ingredients that can help my cord heal.
Another blessing.
Prayers that in this time of waiting and more inward focus……the presence of God overwhelms the questions that will no doubt be knocking within my mind. I do know the more I stand amazed at God the smaller my worries become.
My words from yesterday are as true today.
God IS Faithful. You can TRUST Him. I can TRUST Him too.
Prayers that my strength will be found in QUIETNESS and IN TRUST, and through this time I will learn a greater understanding and perspective of God’s Love for me which is always my prayer for each one of you that reads this Anomaly’s heart poured out on type.
I’m so overwhelmed by the love shown to me. The messages, the texts. Today our mailbox had more cards from our church family than junk mail.
Another blessing.
I would be remiss no to mention my selfless husband and who serves me so well. He's my rock. He's my anchor, my soft place to land. When I am tired and weak, he points me to God's faithfulness and he isn't afraid to shed tears with me as well.
My girls, and now my wonderful son in love and cute, chubby grandson. They hold my heart. They are my joy, my laughter, and (keeping it real here), yes, at times my tears. That's what family is though. It's unconditional love. We love each other the most but sometimes we can treat each other the least. That's what I'm sorry's and forgiveness are for. I love them for all the ways they love me, even amidst all my, 'anomalies'.
Finally, and probably most importantly, there are many that are in much dire circumstances than I am, as I write. If you think to offer prayers for The Hetherington Family, who's young Dad is fighting for his life after a recent stomach cancer diagnosis that's spread to his esophagus. He experienced an accidental esophageal puncture and ended up in surgery earlier than expected.
They have 4 young kids.
Jack's beautiful wife Lyndie, is Hanna's school nurse.
Prayers for a missionaries we heard of to Spain that have 4 children and found out recently that one of their sons has a DIPG tumor.
My heart hit hard the wall when I looked at their faces and saw all the similarity of my precious Molly and her people. Molly's Mum, Catherine has been reaching out to them. She's not afraid to relive her grief in all the agonizing ways, if it means offering this family people who 'get it.' Catherine has also been texting me Scripture, testing prayers, reminding me of God's faithfulness in my story amidst the reminders of the brokenness of her own. Through Molly's journey, Catherine and I learned to affectionately call finding joy in these present sufferings,
"polishing the turd."
I have no doubt if Molly were here she'd probably roll her eyes at my FIRE BREATHER Marvel moment, but she would also know what was being accomplished.
Catherine's words of truth to me today aren't just ....
Another blessing.
Her words. With all she's lost. These words are a...
LITERAL MIRACLE.
A NEON SIGNPOST that points to a God who is Sovereign, who has a plan, who loves His people, even in what feels like chaos.
These words, these truths from God's book, continually remind me there is so much more to this life than what I can see.
For this lil' ole voice that's talking through fingers with too many words to count. Thank you for reading, thank you for sharing my heart, thank you for carrying my burdens. Every prayer, every well wisher, you are each a,
MONUMENTAL BLESSING.
“Now to Him who is able to do so much more than all we can think or even imagine according to His power that is at work within us.” Ephesians 3:20-21
