Prayers for Hanna's Heart

Wednesday night as we were crazily trying to pack up all our things and leave all our lists for the girls left behind the phone rang. It was 9:45. Usually when a phone rings that late, I usually don't think it's anything too great. I looked at the caller ID and recognized it was our social worker at Spence Chapin. OI VAY! This couldn't be good! :) She actually was just calling to confirm our reservations and said how glad she was that I had started to work ahead on it. As we were wrapping up the conversation she wanted to remind me that our visit with Hanna was on Wednesday, September 21^st. I corrected her and said that she had told me earliar that day, it was Tuesday at 1:30 and I was looking at the paper that I had written it down upon. Well she never admitted a mistake she just said, the time you get her will be Wednesday. It will be at the office and we wouldn't get to go to the foster mothers home. That was what I was mostly disappointed about, but I knew we would still get to meet the foster mother and possibly members of the family. You see this whole time SWS has been rather strict about the schedule of this whole transition. They had laid out when they wanted us there since they wanted us to go to Hanna's foster mothers house on Monday for an introduction on her turf, possibly another visit needed on Tuesday at the office, with the final meeting being on Wednesday when we would take custody. Basically our social worker tried to piece together what she thinks is happening. With this back log, and than the Korean holiday on top of it this week, SWS got a large number of families all traveling this same weekthat we are, and they don't have enough staff to deal with the visits. She did make a comment that she knows we are familiar with the way things work and that we have done this before, so maybe for some reason they picked our family to just have the one visit. At first my heart was broken, than God reminded me of how passionately I've been asking people to pray for the preparation of Hanna's heart. Immediately, I just had peace. I believe this is an answer to pray that somehow God in His infinite wisdom knows that this one visit and her coming with us will be best for her precious heart. As Mark said, her heart is eventually going to be broken whether it's after 1 day or 3. It's another change to the plan, BUT I have a God working behind the scenes, orchestrating what I know will be another miracle for our little girl. Please continue to pray that God prepares her precious heart, tha He gives peace to the foster family, and peace to Hanna's heart. Pray that we would have the love to show her as she grieves, and that she would somehow know in her precious little heart. She is HOME!

Day One The Journey to Hanna

I'm still practically having to pinch myself right now as I fly high in a US Airway plane on my way to San Francisco with a really cute little Asian girl sitting beside me that happens to be my daughter Adah who had been praying for a brother or sister for years! She is busily working on sticking little stickers on a numbered square and is quite content!

I told you my friends that I would tell you about yesterday which led up to how we got here. We recieved the travel notice on Hanna Friday morning which was Bekah's 15th birthday and she couldn't have been more excited! With all the ups and downs we have had on this journey, the false starts, we were both prepared to hear the news that we may need to wait until October. Instead it was the news we had all been waiting for! I think it took until almost 2 PM while we were ice skating with Bekah for all of it to sink in and realize that this time next year I would be after a little toddler on the ice. I started to look at things not just as firsts, but as also lasts. Lasts that our family would never fit into a booth at Texas Roadhouse. We wouldn't go for ice cream as a family of four, no skating outings, or trips to the barn. With the four Weigner girls. Our dreams were coming true, and I practically couldn't contain myself, yet all of our lasts, with the hope of all the firsts carried with it the heart ache that Hanna's foster family I'm sure had been notified....that their goodbye would be very soon! That there lasts were permanent. She has taken care of our little girl now for a year, and I don't know that I would have the strength to do what is before her. I simply cannot wait to embrace this wonderful woman and just thank her that she was a part of a miracle. Bekah and Brienna have written letters to the foster sisters that are about their same ages, just thanking them for the love and selflessness they have shown all of their sister and that they would be praying for them regularly in the days, weeks and months ahead. They also let them know they would love to stay in touch.

Well I digress from my weekend and all of the emotions. On to the miracle of yesterday. It actually starts on Tuesday. I have made many adoption friends this time round with the social networking available today, and I had met a woman that was travelling next week to also bring their little boy home that ws with SWS Agency. They had received their travel notice and she happened to tell me that they were at another hotel because they were told the Guest House was full. That started my mind turning, realizing if they were already told that news than I'm sure we would be in a similar situation. So instead of waiting until Wednesday morning to hear the news, I started to look around on the internet for hotels for our family. Though Seoul is a very metropolitan city, I was told by the man that booked ourairline tickets that it comes down to fire code. You cannot have more than 3 people in a room. Crazy to think that for most of our time here Mark and I would have to get possibly separate rooms with one girl each, and I can't even begin to tell you about the prices. While this was happening, I knew there was a major need for baby rice cereal put out by Holt Korea. Since the Ministry is delaying everything, the children are getting older, they are in foster homes longer and the food is running out more quickly. Another adoptive friend had asked before if we could take the rice cereal, so I let her know we would just make it work and use our baggage allotment to see how much we could take. We are allowed 8 bags, and after Mark took a look at our things, he felt we could do 3 totes. So my adoptive friend Beth, went straight to work and she delivered 2 completely packe totes all ready for travel to our front door. I had another friend ask what she could do to help, and I put her to the task of putting together another tote as Mark felt we could do three! You can imagine what it would look like to have so much baggae coming into a city where so many things are compact! :)

Another adoptive Mum actually has a blog that shows step by step how you can fill a tote with rice if you are going to Korea. I read that she had requested Holt Korea to pick up the tubs at the airport so they didn't have to figure out how to carry them. From the airport to their hotel and than to the Holt Offices. I decided I had better touch base with Welcome House and ask the Korea Coordinator if this could be done for us. I also mentioned the predicament we were in with hotels and whether she would feel it appropriate for us to ask about the discounts that Holt has at some hotels since we have two precious daughters as a result of Holt Korea, and even Hanna is tied to Holt through Adah, though now she is with a different agecny. She said that it certainly didn't hurt to ask, so she compiled an email to say how Holt is near and dear to our hearts from the adoption of our other two girls, and that we wanted to know if we could be included in the discount since SWS just didn't seem to have anything.

She let me know she would send the email, but we wouldn't hear anything until Wednesday morning. The day before we have our airline booked! Well Wednedsay comes and I get the call from Spence Chapin that indeed the SWS guest house is booked. I also received an email from Welcome House and our social worker there to say that they did not receive an email from Holt in the morning, but that she would try again. I have to admit my heart started to panic. In the midst of this, another adoptive Mum friend I have met, is with Holt Korea and currently in Korea getting her sweet girl, and she is facebooking me to tell me about meeting Molly Holt. She happened to tell me that DJ, the social worker with Holt Korea said our family was booked in a guest house! I was floored. Okay God what to do here. It's 11 PM Seoul time, someone is telling me we have some guestroom booked, yet Welcome House has no record of it. I quickly emailed our social worker at Welcome House to let her know what this woman in Korea had said. We joked about how our plans always end up in this crazy cacophony of.....something and I wasn't sure what to do. I than hit the computer again, and about to resign to the fact that we may have to spend $600.00 a night for two rooms. You see Spence Chapin would DEEPLY frown upon us leaving for Korea without confirmed hotel lodging. I knew God would provide yet I was starting to think of what happened to those tired travellers when there was no room at the Inn. I think I even had the thought....Seoul doesn't even have stables GOD! :) I was on the phone with Mark practically in tears, yet had an underlying peace that God would go ahead. It wasn't just that the cost of a room was insane, they were quickly disappearing before my eyes on the internet. Just as I'm about to lose it, Welcome House calls me and Patty has come to the rescue. After she got my email about the woman in Korea, she went and found a human resources officer to get into the Korea Coordinator's office and into her compter.(remember she was on vacation starting Wednesday) GUESS WHAT! Jehovah Jireh! God provides. There WAS a letter in the inbox from Holt Korea and for some reason it didn't get forwarded to the other people at work. I was shaking at this point. She just kept reading that WE WERE BOOKED at the DMCVille, for under 200 a night for a 2 or 3 bedroom unit. I had actually emailed this hotel and was turned down because they only contract out with larger corporations, and Holt Korea rents one of their condos each year. I actually think they are less than a year old! These are foreigner condos , Wireless, a full kitchen, pool, athletic gym, and a children's play area! Patty than went on to tell me that a driver would be coming to get the crates of rice cereal to transfer to Holt Korea and they were VERY thankful. On top of this they offered us transportation to our hotel at their regular Holt fee! I was just crying, screaming, laughing...and so was Patty on the other end. You see she was our social worker for adopting Adah, so all these connections run very deep!

Patty and I were so excited! She than realized there was another part of the letter she hadn't read which said that Holt had been able to contact Adah's foster mother and we have an appt. With her on Tuesday morning! The last we had heard Adah's foster mother was no longer fostering and the number they had on file with her was disconnected. Adah was upset about it, but understood it was out of our hands. We just had people pray, if it was the Lord's will that they may find her. I was just besides myself and so overcome to see how God just uses everyday people doing simple everyday things to put all the pieces of His perfect plan together....to say TA DA! There was really no humanly possible way as all the hotels were booked, booked, booked, but GOD MADE a way for us! I have read the story of Moses too many times to count, I've taught it before to many children, yet at that moment, I felt like I was standing in front of the Red Sea, with the rush of the wind almost knocking me off my feet! Friend if you are somewhere and it seems like there is only the Red Sea in front of you. An obstacle so big, it makes you want to stay in bed, or maybe even just give up on God. Be patient, keep your eyes on Him and Trust His heart. Maybe He's asking for a step of obedience, just as they had to put their feet into the Jordan River I believe it was , but just know that you are seen, by a loving God. He has His plan, the waiting is OH SO HARD, but when He says it's time.....have something to hang onto, because when He moves, it will certainly knock you off your feet!!!

My tailbone is still hurting.....:)

Ephesians 3:20,21

Ready to GO!

Here we are at gate B7 in Philadelphia rrady to get on our plane! Next stop is San Fransisco!!

Tomorrow is one step closer.

Many people have been asking me how I'm holding it together.  Well two things.   One, I KNOW that, I KNOW, that I KNOW from this journey, that God is in control and His timing is perfect.  Secondly, because I haven't been able to book any tickets yet, put anything on hold, look into hotels, since we have to wait for the Korean Holiday to be over. I am a procrastinator by nature, which makes it really hard to be aware of all that truly is happening, until it really starts to happen! Mark just loves that about me!   NOT!!!!   These next couple of days will become REALITY very quickly that we are really doing this and about to cross oceans to get our baby girl, while leaving parts of our hearts back here.
      Our Korean agency is off work Tuesday and they will be back in the office on Wednesday due to Korean Thanksgiving.   So tomorrow, I am able to finally work with our travel agent to temporarily book flights for the 24 hour period.  Once we have that information, we can send it to our agency in New York along with our request to stay in the SWS guest house.  Our information will be sent to Korea on Tuesday evening, so the SWS staff will have it to approve while we sleep Tuesday night (or I pack all night) and we WAIT (again) for Wednesday morning.  The airline tickets are more a technicality as they will fall into the schedule SWS would like.  However, the bigger thing now is accomodations.  We are really hoping that we can stay in the Guesthouse, since it is right there at SWS, and the price is right!  :)  However we won't find out until Wednesday morning if it is available as they only have one 2 bedroom suite, so than we may have to book hotels from there.  We also aren't able to make any plans about meeting foster mothers until Wednesday either when hopefully Welcome House hears back from their contact at Holt.  The last we heard was that Narae's foster mother may be available to get together this weekend, though we would need a translator, and they hadn't been able to get in  contact with Adah's foster mother.  She is no longer fostering and the number they have on file is disconnected.  We have already told Adah we may not get to meet her foster mother, but that we are just going to keep praying about it and trust God to continue to guide each and every one of our footsteps.  It sounded like Holt Korea was going to try again to contact her.   If we aren't able to meet her, than I'm just going to pray that God would show us a precious woman that could be encouraged by the gifts we had picked out for Adah's foster mother. Believe me, Hanna's Mum is well covered.
   I have goosebumps to think that this time next week we will have laid eyes on our beautiful baby girl. My thoughts wonder whether she will have been accepting of us.  Will she have taken one look at our Western faces and gone clinging to her foster mother?  That's where I think the miracle of Narae and Adah will come in as Hanna tries to figure out how their some what  familiar  type faces fit in with her new forever Mama and Daddy.  We need to keep our expectations in check.  We have so much love for her, yet she has no clue.  How I think of the heart of our heavenly Father in the same way.  He has so much love for us, yet how many days do I live as if I have no clue.  I know as I look at the searching eyes of Hanna I will be reminded of myself.  As she looks at Adah and Narae to find connection with them, as she studies how they fit with us and how they trust us, I pray that  my life shows others that my God  is trustworthy and safe.  That if He has loved and accepted someone with my stubborn will and pride, He can love and accept anyone and His forgiveness runs deep.  So many days I can feel like a failure as a mother, and I am awed that God sees something that He is willing to grant me the joy of parenting another precious girl.  I pray she knows that she is a daughter of the King, and that as she learns to trust me, she will learn to trust a Heavenly Father that thinks she is priceless.  I still don't think I accept that, so maybe Hanna and I will learn together, that we are loved not because of what we do, but because of WHO WE ARE!   Daughters of the King!

Thank you so much for your prayers.  A lot to do in the next couple of days, and many things that need to fall into place.  We look back at God's faithfulness and the signs of His fingerprints all around us, and use that to remember that He will carry us the rest of the way.

WE ARE COMING HANNA GRACE! TRAVEL CALL 9/9/2011

Today was a day that will go down in Weigner history as a day that two labors of love came to an end.  On September 9, 1996, Rebekah Adelaide Weigner came screaming onto the scene, and today September 9, 2011 we got the call that we could travel to pick up Hanna.  Two labors of love.  One child growing withing my body, where I felt some control and physical connection with my heart, while Hanna was a surprise baby that instantly was placed upon my heart and my love for her has grown and grown though physically I've had no control.    Rebekah's life is a story of miracles, just as Hanna's has been and will continue to be.  The road was almost impossible at times and my heart grew weary, yet it's hard to give up on God when you live surrounded by miracles!  I have another book written upon my heart all about this journey which I hope to one day get to paper.  Thank you so much for those of you that have been praying for us, that have supported us and loved us, and are just as excited for us to make Hanna a physical part of our family.  Stay tuned for updates and keep the prayers a coming!  Love to all, and praising God tonight who has given us so much to be thankful for.  We are truly blessed.

Hanna's First Birthday

I should probably preface our sweet girls birthday, by explaining it was a birthday WEEKEND!  I really was very cautious about my feelings around it, and of course right when I thought I would be great I CRASHED!   It was Friday afternoon, and I think it was a combination of no new EP news at the time before the weekend, and also knowing that her day was quickly approaching on August 7th.  Though I was excited to think of her foster family and all the preparations....BUT there was no two ways about it....my HEART WAS HURTING!  :(
    
As I wallowed in my own self pity though I did continually try to point my heart and prayers towards her birth mother, whom I knew was  having VERY EMOTIONAL feelings, yet without the joy of very soon getting to hold sweet Hanna in her arms!  Saturday brought Mark and mine walking/running trail that we have been doing every Saturday while waiting for the sweet baby, followed by our coffee at the Valley Cafe.  We than hit the ground running cleaning up the house for a baby shower that was happening in the afternoon for Chelsea and Colton Kenner.  It was a wonderful afternoon, and as we prepared for the shower, Brienna and I worked on a special birthday cake for Hanna.  The shower was wonderful, the games and fellowship were awesome, and God's grace and peace in our hearts was evident!  That day Narae just wasn't herself, and she spent most of the day walking around in a daze.  By the evening her fever had spiked, and her ears were hurting more than ever, so we knew this double ear infection was not giving up without a fight.  Mark and I both felt better with her being seen by someone, so we had a Narae, Daddy and Mummy date at Grandview!  I think we've had about three of them with Narae in her lifetime.  She always does love the special time with both of us, but I think we really should pick a new venue.  We obviously held off any cake celebrations until the following day.  Narae was prescribed a new antibiotic along with antibiotic drops for her ears.  As I went to bed that night a little after midnight, I just could sense people praying for me, for I had peace.  I was content to know that Hanna was celebrating her very special day and was in the midst of so much love!  I went to bed with a smile, imagining the joy of the foster mother dressing Hanna in the Hanbok that she had no doubt lovingly purchased and picked out just for her.  You see we have two other beautiful Hanboks that were picked out by amazing, unselfish women.  One was for Narae, and intended for it to be worn on her 1st birthday and the other Adah.  Both girls wore these beautiful gowns, yet the incredible women that sacrificially purchased these gifts didn't have the joy of dressing them on that special day.  Hanna's foster family did get  this privilege, and it is now an incredible part of her story.  I will be forever, truly...forever greatful to this family for all they have done for Hanna in loving up on her and caring for her every need this first year of her life.  I knew on the other side of the world.....there was a precious family doting on our little girl, and in that I was content and thanking God that even in this wait, He has a plan. 

     Sunday morning dawned early, and I headed off to church with three of the girls while Mark stayed at home with Narae.  The worship was exceptional, and I stood there in awe of how strong I felt emotionally.  I was even able to take the mic, without breaking down into a pile of tears and just thank God for Hanna's life and also for the lessons He has been teaching me about selflessness! The connections hour, I had been asked to speak to the ladies, and just share the journey of faith that God has had us on.  I really felt like God just wanted me to hit home on the fact that we are LOVED EXTRAVAGANTLY....not because of what we do, but because of who we are, which is daughters of a King!  I played Hanna's video, and showed her picture to give a visual to the ladies of my longing for this precious little girl.  The Bible talks frequently about how we are adopted as God's children.  Going through this process with Hanna, just as the other two girls, looking at her picture, longing to hold her, reminds me that this is how God views me!  Hanna is a Weigner girl, with an amazing family of people waiting to love up on her, and she doesn't even know it.  There is absolutely nothing that she has to do to be a Weigner girl....yet accept it!  She is already written on our hearts.  I shared with the ladies that I think that God has allowed me three precious children via adoption because He knows how stubborn I can be, and I forever need the reminder of how much He loves me!  Those of you that were praying for me that day....THANK YOU......I knew it was because of prayers that I truly was experiencing the peace of God that passes all understanding.  My final comment to Pastor John before going home, was if he could please remind the Lord that I had finished what He asked me to do on this difficult day, and perhaps the phone could ring now!  He chuckled and said..."I will rejoice with you in God's perfect timing for you to be over in Korea!"  I reminded myself....one step at a time Karen....one step at a time.

Well I got home and it was party time!  Narae was like a different child with the new antibiotic in her and she was definatley ready to venture out for Korean food!  We took Hanna's picture with us, for what type of day would it be without the birthday girl! :)  The waitress at the Korea Garden definitely got a kick out of seeing her picture.  Especially at the end when we said..."Adah, don't forget Hanna at the table!"   We stopped off for some Merrymeade ice cream on the way home, and how wonderful it would be if the next time we go there we are a family of 7!  We gathered around the table than and sang Hanna her Happy Birthday song!  It was a wonderful day, and I was content to know she had a beautiful Korean Dol tradition behind her that I firmly believe we will see many pictures of, and I know we have so much hope ahead for all of us.  I definately felt like it was a mountain climbed with the help and support of so many friends and loved ones! 

So here are some pictures of our special day celebrating the life of a very special little girl that we still find ourselves pinching one another as to how remarkable and miraculous she truly is! 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NAEUN HANNA GRACE WEIGNER!  WE LOVE YOU!  XOXOXOXOXO
    

Two Other Women..........

It is August 3, and we continue to wait for Hanna's EP to be processed.  The Korean government said they would begin working on them again in August as they originally said they would do in July. So my trust is not in their words, but in a sovereign God!  We are SO very thankful for the pictures and the videos of precious Hanna.  If you didn't get a chance to see her video, than send me an email and I will make sure you get the link.  My heart was and is overflowing  to know how well she is doing.  For Mark it was bittersweet, because he saw how very much he is missing!  He just loves all the time he can get with all of his daughters.  So we continuing to be in this waiting room.  God has been so very good to us, in giving us just what we need for each and every day. A night out with friends, a day spent with extended family, a worship song on Sunday morning that speaks straight to my heart, flowers dropped off unexpectedly by a friend just to say, I'm thinking and praying for you.   We just sense the prayers of so many surrounding us.  God gave me yet another perspective change yesterday as well.  You see, Hanna's first birthday is quickly approaching on August 7th, and it is a day I know will be very difficult.  God is working out the faith muscles in this Canadian , who loves to pull covers over her head when things get too unbearable, and who can too quickly surrender. (by the way, I'm not French Canadian, so no smart comments! :) )  He's continuing to teach me to walk by faith not by sight.  Just when I say...."OKAY God, look how far I've come now......He lovingly says...'Karen ...a little farther."   Saturday, I'm hosting a baby shower here at the house, to welcome the life of a precious baby boy.  God's teaching me  to rejoice with those that rejoice.  Sunday, our Pastor asked if I would speak to the ladies at our church during our Connections hour.  He asked me to talk about the things that God is teaching me, has taught me.....F A I T H!    I said yes...cuz you all know this Canadian can  talk, and I do love to encourage others to run their race as God teaches me to run mine. You know how it's hard to talk when your winded though and gasping for air.  That's how I kind of picture Sunday morning.     This one will be completely relying on His strength, as I'm sure there will be a Kleenex box at the front of the room for me, and it will be another work out to teach me that during my weakness He is strong.  The perspective change though came yesterday as  I was reading a book I had purchased when we adopted Narae. I was reminded of it when I was looking for birth mother stories.  I had to pull it out from a top shelf and dust it off.   It is called "I Wish for you a Beautiful Life."  The book is a compilation of letters from Korean birth mothers to their children.  Oh, how I immediately felt humbled.  You see, here I had basically been wallowing in my own misery of not getting to see Hanna on her 1st birthday, that I had completely put the thought out of my mind about the woman that gave her life.  We pray for Narae and Adah's birth parents every night at bed time, but I have to be honest, I think simple routine, and my own emotion had  overtaken what these women have gone through to fill our lives with incredible joy. We have two birthdays coming up, that will be hard for women across the world.  Narae turns double digits on August 14th, and I picture a woman somewhere with a piece missing in her heart, feeling like it was yesterday she made the hardest decision of her life.  I imagine her somewhere thinking....where has that decade gone....it feels like yesterday.....what does my little girl look like now?  Praying she is having a beautiful life.    Now, I look past myself this weekend, and I see Hanna and Adah's birth mother.  Not once did she have to experience incredible heartache, but twice.  So there are three women here with heavy hearts this weekend and week ahead. (Truthfully four, as a foster mother prepares a party for a special girl that she knows she will soon say goodbye to and put in the arms of 'another mother.')  I have all the joy ahead of me, with a daughter who has been chosen to be a Weigner girl and I know will grace our life with love and giggles just as each of her sisters do. However, there is another woman who is only a year removed from a wound that must be so great, which only helps to open up another wound that is almost 7 years old.  I was angry reading about the cultural implications of the country of my daughters birth that led to these decisions.  To know that not much culturally has changed, and that though there is new legislation intended to help birth mothers, I'm afraid it will just  backlog a system and a country that needs to look past it's prejudice for single mothers.  I pray that God would move hearts in Korea to embrace adoption, to embrace the fatherless and to let go of bloodlines. That anger was quickly overshadowed though by the qualities I admire in these amazing women.  The underlying qualities through all these birth  letters is LOVE AND STRENGTH!   As a family I have been talking to the girls about counting their sisters as more important than themselves.....and here right in front of me is one of the greatest acts of humility.....I have experienced 3 times over.  The unselfish heart of a woman to let go of her desires to love her daughter, so their girls could have a better life!  I don't know that's a decision I could make!  So, last night was a very restless night, and it wasn't because of the EP situation, it was because I felt like I could sense the agony of Hanna and Adah's birth mom as the day of Hanna's birth comes close.  Just like smells and visuals remind us of different events in our lives, I'm sure everything right now is reminding her of the last days that she carried sweet Na Eun "Hanna" within her womb, knowing she was making an unselfish plan for her life. Na Eun was named by her birth mother, and the name "Na" means beautiful.....so I KNOW she was and IS  loved!   Imagine how this precious soul  must have cherished every last little movement as the day of her babies  birth drew near, and the decision she had made became a closer reality. I have sleepless nights thinking of the day that I will see Hanna, she probably cherished every sleepless night and movement of her baby because they were some of  the last times they would be together.  Her choice was a decision that would break her heart,(again) but fill mine! She chose life really not once for this baby, by choosing not to have an abortion, but twice as she chose a better life than what she felt she could give Hanna.   How I pray that one day I will get to put my arms around this woman ,around Narae's birth mother.  To look into their beautiful almond shaped eyes and tell them how I love them for who they are.  To tell them, I'm sorry that they were judged and made to feel like they had no other choices, but to tell them that God brings wholeness and beautiful things out of brokenness.  THAN....I pray I'll get the joy to step aside and introduce these women to the daughters of mine that are gifts of God. The daughters that have taught me so much about Gods love for me and how there is nothing I can DO to earn His love.  Simply accept it.  I pray I can introduce them to the daughters that they carried physically for the start of their 9 months on this earth, and than carried them in their hearts evermore.  So with God's strength, I face the days ahead, and when things seem difficult I will think of the strength of these two women, and so many more they represent.  I will think particularly of Hanna's birth mother on the other side of the world, that may  feel like on August 7th, she can't push the covers off her body to face that day.  I will pray for strength for her, and peace in her heart to know all is well as I put my two feet on the floor, FOR HER!  I will pray more fervently for these women that God would send people to put arms of love around them, and let them know they are incredible, they are beautiful, they are strong and they are loved.  So please join me in praying for Hanna and Adah's birth mom as our family comes to mind, and include  Narae's as well.  Narae carries the name her birth mother gave her, and since Adah tells anyone that asks I don't mind posting it here, that Hanna is named after her birth mother. HaNa.  That is why we have INTENTIONALLY left the 'h' off the end of her name.  This is a part of who she is!   These women will always have a part of their heart on the other side of the world.  Thinking of what their little girls look like, what they are doing, if their dreams are coming true, if they one day will get to meet them and not be judged by them.   I get the privilege of scooping these girls up and hugging them, having tickle, giggling contests with them, tucking them into bed,  rejoicing with them in new things learned, and crying with them over scraped knees. I get to tell them about a woman on the other side of the world that is AMAZING, who has strength past what I could imagine, and love for my little girls like none other.  All these moments are precious gifts, and  in the moments and days ahead whenever my heart is broken, I will think of these women. I will ponder their strength, and I will be thankful, and pray for precious blessings over their lives. I will pray for a day that we may meet and talk about the incredible things that God has done!  Making Beauty out of Ashes!!